I think I'll play with Hopper now...

[thistledear]

Bonnie sat back against the back of the dark green tiled tub, sighing heavily to let the tension soak out into the water around her. She lived for the times when she could soak in the tub without any distraction from the Court aside. It was one of the reasons she’d had the bathroom soundproofed.

Her hair was tucked up under a green terrycloth turban, and she sank down into the water as far as she could go without getting it wet. Oh sweet Faerie, this was good. Screw the court. She was living the rest of her life in this tub. The water was warm and smelled of roses. The bathroom was thick with ferns and ivy against green tiled walls and floor. It was lovely and relaxing. She was staying until her entire body shriveled up into a Bonnie prune.

"Cannonnnnnnnnnbaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllll!"

Or not. She opened one eye just in time to see Hopper fall from the air, legs drawn up and arms wrapped around them. She whipped her head to the side and let the resulting splash hit her cheek.

"Waiter," she said wearily, "what is this pixie doing in my bath? Why ma’am, he appears to be doing the backstroke."

Hopper floated by, spitting water like a fountain. He kicked lazily, grinning at her. "Hey, boss."

"Hey, little dead pixie man. I’m trying to get away from you losers, you know."

"Hah! We are Queensguard. Resistance is futile."

"Great."

The yellow rubber duck that went floating by suddenly diverted Hopper’s attention. She took one look at the wicked grin spreading across his face and braced herself for the worst. Sure enough, he rose from the water like a tiny god of the sea and threw himself across the duck’s back, wrapping his arms around the neck. She relaxed; that was all right then. Using the duck as a floatation device was allowed.

And then…he began to hump the duck.

And sing.

"Rubber ducky, you’re the one! You make bathtime lots of fun!"

Bonnie shrieked and kicked upward with one leg, starting a wave that dislodged the pixie from its new toy and sank him. She grabbed the duck out of the water and let the pixie flounder.

"You…little…bastard!" she howled, hitting the water with her palm and sending another wave at him as he resurfaced. He sank and came up again, treading water furiously.

"Drowning!" he gasped out, splashing around. "Drowning now!"

She glared and reached over to pluck him out of the water by his wings. He hung pathetically from her fingers like a drowned rat, coughing and hacking, but he finally found his breath again and gave her a withering glare.

"Where’s your sense of humor?" he muttered, folding his arms peevishly.

"Rubber duck rape is punishable by death in this court, I’ll have you know."

"Hey, don’t blame me! She’s a little rubber tart is what she is!"

Bonnie gave up and let him go. He hit the water with a small splash and paddled his way to her chest, pulling himself up between her small breasts and curling up against her neck. He stroked her throat with a small, circular motion that began to lull her to sleep, his small hand playing a symphony of touch against her skin. She let her eyes drift shut again, the corner of her mouth quirking. Little bastard. He knew exactly how to rile her up and soothe her back down again.

But the next time he tried to fuck the duck, she was drowning him for sure.

Comments

[klgaffney.livejournal.com]

"Rubber duck rape is punishable by death in this court, I’ll have you know."

"Hey, don’t blame me! She’s a little rubber tart is what she is!"

*falls over*

bwahahahaha!

bad, naughty ducky.

[thistle-dear.livejournal.com]

I've completely ruined that song for everyone, you know. >=)

[klgaffney.livejournal.com]

glad you got to it first before i did. now i can blame you. i watch sesame street all the time, thanks to the girls, and my brain had already gone there a long time ago....

*giggle*

*sings*

when i squeeze you, you make noise...rubber ducky i'm awfully fond of you..... >=)

[jamjar.livejournal.com]

As someone that can (and has) spent hours in the bath, half of me is sympathising with Bonnie, but the other half is trying to make some safe-sex/fuck a rubber duck/watersports joke.

[thistle-dear.livejournal.com]

Obviously pixies are like rats: they can flatten out to get through just about any space. ^_^

[ephemera.livejournal.com]

*giggles* - oh perfect - Thank you!

[thistle-dear.livejournal.com]

You're welcome! ^_^ Glad the image of Hopper molesting rubber bath toys could brighten your day!

[ex-twilight428.livejournal.com]

::dies::
oh, Thistle, that was awesome ::laughing::
thank you for starting my morning off right :]

"Drowning!" he gasped out, splashing around. "Drowning now!"
::snickering::

[thistle-dear.livejournal.com]

Hee...yeah, I figure flying fae aren't good with large bodies of water. He's lucky she didn't turn on the water jets. =D

[fierydragonsky.livejournal.com]

I suspect that that entire snippet was an excuse to use the rhyme "fuck the duck." =D

I enjoy the queensguard. I really do.

[thistle-dear.livejournal.com]

Actually, no. This whole snippet was so Hopper could hump a rubber duck and sing that song. =D The "fuck a duck" was completely a last minute addition. ^___^

[tsuki-no-bara.livejournal.com]

*falls over* oh man, that was priceless. my old roommate left a bunch of rubber ducks when she moved out.... *squints at the rubber duckies* hopper? they're waiting for you.... :D

[thistle-dear.livejournal.com]

Hopper: Hah! Forget your little prude duck, Bonnie. I gots me a whole harem of yellow rubber ladies just squeakin' for me. ^_^

Bonnie: -_-;; I'm too damn sane for this right now...

[melycertia.livejournal.com]

ROFLMAO
*decides to give all the rubber duckies she finds to the puppies*
Hopper, you sick fuck. *lmao* You've ruined so many people's lives!

Thanks for brightening my day, Thistle! *gig* that was brilliant!

[thistle-dear.livejournal.com]

Hopper, you sick fuck.

Hopper: *preens* I am. I really, really am. You should have seen what I did to that Barbie I stole. Bonnie won't even let any of her kids own one now. >=)

[coinneach.livejournal.com]

And here I thought that someone was going to make the obligatory Bert/Ernie crack. Or would that be Ernie/Bert?

Anyway, Hopper, messing with a pregnant woman is a bit foolish...

[thistle-dear.livejournal.com]

The whole Bert/Ernie thing fucks with my head. I'm trying very hard to ignore it. ^__^

This may be pre-preggers. I'm not sure.

[k-woman.livejournal.com]

he rose from the water like a tiny god of the sea

::dies at the mental image:: Even with the duck humping...that line totally killed me :D

[thistle-dear.livejournal.com]

Aww, and I wasn't trying to be funny there. Well, not much. ^_^ I'm working on Hopper/shrinky!Bonnie smut. Once perspective has changed, Hopper's not so amusing anymore. He's kinda turning into this whole...um...I dunno. If Casanova and the Marquis de Sade had a kid kind of thing. He's weirdly sexy for only being a foot tall. o_O

Re:

[k-woman.livejournal.com]

well funny isn't *quite* why I died. Just that the mental image of rising from a bathtub when you're a foot tall and relating to that as a God of the sea....OK wait, I'm not making any sense am I >_<

We should hook him up with like the Toothfarie...I bet she's dying to get laid...

[bakadragon.livejournal.com]

Mmmmm.... rubber tart...

*chewsqueakchewsqueakchewsqueak* Chotto... oishikunai yo....

And I was hungry ;_; *hands it back to Hopper* ^_^

[ks-claw.livejournal.com]

*is laughing so very hard she's crying!!* poor rubberducky!

[thistle-dear.livejournal.com]

Hey Claw! Long time, no see! ^___^

[ks-claw.livejournal.com]

Yay, you remember me too! ^_^ I really need to make artsies for you and K again. I got a sketch of Mark, but it needs ink and color.

[thistle-dear.livejournal.com]

Well, if you haven't been keeping up, you might want to note this announcement: http://www.livejournal.com/users/klgaffney/138981.html. Wow, that's been almost a year now...

[feline-fables.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I remember reading about it some other place in K's journal, but no worries. I'm enjoying myself around Zaubercorp (http://www.livejournal.com/users/zaubercorp) quite a bit at the moment. And I hope there's a place where I can read your stories, or is it just in this LJ?

(P.s writing from my story-LJ account <_< check it out if you feel like it, working on my own universe, heh)