Muse For Hire

So, I get a call earlier in the week from the office saying it's time for the yearly unit inspection.

Sadly this didn't mean ogling hot naked guys. Bummer.

So I spent this week slowly giving my apartment a cleaning, although I didn't go ALL out. I figured they were just looking for physical damage: mold, carpet stains, head-shaped holes in the walls, tape outlines of bodies on the floor--y'know, the usual. So I cleaned up and put on pants this evening to wait for the nice lady to come by.

So she did. I gave her a small laundry list of issues I'd been having. And then she beams at me and announces that they'd like me to stay on. Yay! They like me! They didn't hear about that...thing. This is good! So she pulls out a lease renewal form and I get a kick to the gut. We're talking rabid-mule-on-Red-Bull kick too.

See, I was ecstatic about this apartment when I found it. Gorgeous place, awesome entry deal of $549! Wicked cool! And I've gotten in on good deals on all my apartments really. But in all my other apartments, my rent went up a small percentage based on what I signed on for. These people, however...that deal has an expiration date. You get one year at the awesome rate. ONE. And then you get to pay what everyone else is paying.

My rent is going up $100 a month. CHRIST.

And I don't have a choice. I do not have the money or the mental stability for another move. So I'll kiss my beautiful savings good-bye and pay it. But goddammit, if they fuck me over again next year...

You know what? I'm just gonna find some rich old fuck to marry. Hey, Hef is single again, right?