thistledear: Beaming chibi aerael head (bad touch)
I think my depression issues might be taking a turn for the worse. It's getting harder and harder to make myself eat. It's after 7, and I know I need food, yet the idea of it makes me sad and sick.

Seriously, fuck food. )

...on the other hand, Harlequin Nocturne pays a pretty damn nice advance. Like $7k nice. I wonder if I could write a supernatural romance for the housewife set? XD
thistledear: Beaming chibi aerael head (what's that?)
...or so my dad might say. :p The 60s and all decades on completely passed that man.

SO. There was this study. Yes, it's a wholly rat-based study, but it really made me think about my habits ever since I moved back to Dallas.

You may have noticed that my writing has...disappeared. It slowly dwindled until I was doing nothing at all. The past two years was nothing but the odd drabble and my 100 Prompts 100 Words self-challenge. It's not out of any laziness. I just...can't put words together anymore. I can't remember words. Sometimes I'll be talking and completely forget what I was talking about. At first I called them "brain farts" and laughed them off until they got really, really frequent. My attention span is just GONE.

So I read the article and I got to thinking about how my eating habits changed. Two Dr. Pepper a day habit, not including the fountain drinks I'd get with combo meals. COMBO MEALS. Almost EVERY DAY. I'll get fast food for lunch during the work week. The last few years I'd go get breakfast from the fast food places too. Supper would be stuff like frozen pizzas or spaghetti or those Pasta-Roni meals. No vegetables other than maybe sometimes I'd get some fried chicken and need some green beans to go with them. Maybe some corn on the cob. Or canned Popeyes spinach. And we're not even talking once a week on that.

So I'm doing an experiment. )

So yeah, I'm using the next 2 weeks to force myself to eat new vegetables. My plan is to go--well, not COMPLETELY vegetarian, but I am also cutting out the red meat. And chicken is such a pain to cook that I tend to stay away from it too. So fish. Pescatarian? It's all for health reasons.

Now here's a question for those of you (probably most of you) that eat better than I do. When using oil for healthy cooking, what are good ones to use? I don't have any allergies, so don't hold back. I've heard olive oil is good. Any others?

Anyone ever had the gluten-free rice bread? Rice pasta? Any good?

Anyone have any good recipes to share? :D

Wish me luck. ^__^ I really, REALLY need this eating change in my life.
thistledear: Beaming chibi aerael head (Default)
I'm going back to school.

Going to take the paralegal courses.

Going to be in debt for the next TEN YEARS, but I have to do something.

I can't keep on this course. I can't keep relying on wistful little dreams that let me lie to myself for the past fifteen years. I'm not going to be a published writer--and even if I am, I will never be a successful one. Not the kind that can live off their books. That was the one that landed me with a useless English degree. It didn't matter what I did in high school or college--I was going to be a WRITER. I never even thought ahead to my thirties--I was going to have bestsellers by the time I was 25.

Now I'm 33 and as I said a couple of months ago, it is time to grow the fuck up.

I don't have any retirement plans financially. I don't have a savings account to speak of. I have $200. That's it. And my paychecks, which disappear like water in a desert.

I need a career. I need to not only plan for the soon future but farther off. I don't want to be a 70-year-old lady working clerical duties because there's no such thing as Social Security in 2046 and I have heart medicine to pay for.

Of course, 2046 could be a post-Apocalyptic future in which I'm leading the Resistance against alien robot zombies, but it's probably better to assume 2046 is going to be full of the same boring bullshit as 2009.

I rather like legal work. I like research. I like being a support function. Lawyers are everywhere and I don't see them going anywhere or doing their own work, so it's a job with more of a future than fucking DATA ENTRY. I think the paralegal thing will be good.

Classes start Monday. I have financial aid to fill out tonight. I am going to be a wee mad bundle of stress for the next 11.5 months, and I doubt you'll hear much from me other than freaked out screamy rants. Monday through Thursday, 6-9 in the evenings on top of 8 hours at work? Oh, Bonnie is going to have SO much screen time in my brain this next year.


thistledear: Beaming chibi aerael head (Default)

August 2013

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